fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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