I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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