brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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