brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
3 2 1 whiskey
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize