Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
