I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Randomize
