I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
