She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
either way he was missing a nipple.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
