The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
