no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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