White coat. Heels.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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