dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
