I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
