What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
