he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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