When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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