So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
