I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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