Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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