If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
