i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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