At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often