Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
