: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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