I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
