This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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