yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
