then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize