I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
