It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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