he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
