When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
