I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
