I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
