I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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