Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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