just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
