so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
