cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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