I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
