Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize