The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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