We're facebook friends in real life
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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