Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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