too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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