I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
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Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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