I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
