just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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