Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
