Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
