I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
