let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
