I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
