Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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