That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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