well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They have beer where we have blood.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
