why didn't you poke me back
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
