I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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