Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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