We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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