Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh good, I think they're gone
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die