um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night