Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
