On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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