We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
