What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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